Recapping The Bachelor Season 26 Premiere
Jesse Palmer sucks.
Well season twenty six of the bachelor kicked off tonight and I have A LOT of feelings. I think that most of them are hate because I hate cheesy stupid stuff. But then again I am watching the Bachelor so I deserve this.
This seasons Bachelor was twenty eight year old, former Missouri Tigers and Seattle Seahawks tight end, Clayton Echard.
Clayton was on the Michelle Young season of the Bachelorette, I’m a huge Michelle fan. Unfortunately, Clayton was eliminated on episode six after trying to match with the Minnesota school teacher.
Now, the medical salesman has another shot at love and the season started off with a bang.
Salley was the focal point of the start of the episode as she gave her sob story about how she was supposed to be getting married today, but she broke off her engagement due to trust issues in the relationship.
This was the first red flag on Salley. The second was a HUGE BRIGHT RED FLAG when she showed up to Claytons door and through a stream of tears, tells him about the situation. Here’s where it gets wild, Clayton bypasses all the red flags and offers her a rose. WHAT!?
She made a call and decided to decline the rose and leave the show about twenty minutes in.
The introductions started and I had many mixed emotions about them.
There were lots of stupid pick up lines and Lyndsey kicked it off with the dumbest fucking pickup line of all time. “Well I’m from the south, but you’re so tall you got me looking north.” Stupid.
Another one came from Teddy when she said “My name is, but Teddi and I heard you’re the big teddy bear around here, and I’m hoping that I’m your teddy bear soon.” Dumb. Well, I guess it worked though because they were making out right after the introductions.
Good for her!
The other contestants were not thrilled with that as one of them said “someone stop them”.
Hailey had him open a jar of pickles and Hunter rolled in with a snake which was beyond bizarre. ONE GIRL BROUGHT AN URN WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS ASHES IN IT.
To break up the bad pickup lines, Kate had a pretty good one when she had Clayton hold “one of her nips”. She pulled two whiskey nips out of thin air and they both ripped a shot together which I thought was cool.
Another good pickup line was when Rachel rolled out her sixty three year old wing woman. because she’s a flight instructor. I’ll give her props for it, it’s creative and had the whole audience enthralled.
I’m a fan of Shanae because people already weren’t a fan after her introduction when she pulled up in a massive lifted truck and ran over a small toy car that another contestant arrived in. Other contestants were not a huge fan of that.
The introductions ended and the contestants with Clayton congregated inside for the cocktail party. Clayton and the contestants got acquainted very quickly.
In addition to Teddi, Clayton stuck his tongue down Kira, Eliza and Rachels throat. My mans is a player!
One of the funniest parts was Claire getting butt hurt that she didn’t get to eat chicken wings with Clayton so she turned into a royal bitch. She started shouting “he’s too nice” and “I’d chew him up and spit him out”.
Clayton nipped that in the bud FAST. He pulled Claire aside and confronted her and she stumbled and fumbled all over her words like an absolute buffoon. So, Clayton sent her home.
That’s two contestants biting the dust before the rose ceremony. WILD.
Clayton gave the first impression rose to Teddi, even though she had a God awful pickup line. But I didn’t have a problem with that because she’s a super likable contestant. Someone that I can root for and if she wins, I’ll be excited.
While I’m happy with Teddi getting the impression rose, the contestant that I’m rooting for is Rachel the flight instructor. She seems down to Earth and pretty cool. I think she’ll say the right things and make her way to the end.
My dark horse contestant that I think can make a late run is Genevieve because the two had a short interaction that didn’t involve lip locking, but they seemed to dig each other. Keep an eye out for Genevieve.
During the rose ceremony, I was sitting on my couch with my fists balled up in rage because of Tessa crying. It was so annoying and gave a poor representation of Connecticut, but hey, that’s the 203 for ya.
One of the things I hate about the Bachelor is that they don’t tell you who got eliminated, so I have no idea especially after I was introduced to these women two hours ago.
I am so pumped up for episode two though.