Sign Me Dave Portnoy
My pitch to Dave Portnoy on why I should be a Barstool Athlete.
Yesterday as the NIL bill passed, many companies and brands reached out to student athletes while many athletes reached out to brands regarding endorsements. This was mainly division one athletes, high caliber guys and gals, the cream of the crop.
Barstool Sports decided to hop in on the action and began the NCAA marketing firm, Stool Athletics. The first athlete that became a member was Jacksonville State volleyball player Adelaide Halverson. Congrats Adelaide!
Well, after seeing many division one athletes shoot their shot and be accepted by El Pres, I decided that it was my turn. I wanted to rep the little guy at the division three level that hasn’t gotten the respect they deserved over the years or was shit on in high school for committing to play division three.
I flooded Portnoy’s mentions with questions like “Looking to sign a division three center?” and “Any love for division three?”. After shooting my shot like Steph Curry, I fired off one more tweet that read “Do you need a division three center Dave?” Portnoy answered.
Andrew Diaz @freshlegsdiaz@stoolpresidente Do you need a division three center Dave? https://t.co/vxCIAEMWsG
That was when I received the most amount of retweets and replies I’ll probably ever get. College teammates and friends were texting and calling me saying “Holy shit, this is nuts!” I had to agree, it was pretty nuts.
Some of the replies were even crazier. Nick Mangold commented on the picture of me shadow blocking giving me tips. Mangold is a God damn legend!
Anytime a legend speaks, you shut up and listen. Then, Feltman’s Coney Island Hot Dogs tweeted at me asking if I wanted some free hot dogs. Um, yeah! I’m a Fourth of July baby so I think that loving a good hot dog is imbedded into my DNA.
Of course I hopped into Feltman’s Dm’s. There was no other option. They said that an order of dogs was on the way and after chatting in messages with them, they expressed their love for Maritime kids as they are a veteran run business. Much respect!
With that being said, as I write this, Stool Athletics has not signed a division three athlete. It’s been division one athletes, who definitely deserve all the shine they’re getting but no division three athletes.
My pitch to El Pres is that of the nineteen athletes he tweeted about from his main @stoolpresidente account, the post that included myself had the most likes by over six thousand and almost seven hundred retweets.
If I were a Barstool Athlete, I would rep it to the grave. My dream since graduating high school has been to work for Dave Portnoy at Barstool Sports in some form so if I were to be named as a Barstool Athlete, my unconditional loyalty would be to the company and try to grow their already massive audience in any way I can.
Dave, if you do read this, my email is email@example.com , reach out and let’s make this work because I have two goals in mind. Represent every division three athlete who has been shit on in the past and to be a loyal and active ambassador for Barstool Sports. Oh, did I mention I have a mullet?